Last week I went to Airlie Beach to do a tour of the Whitsundays. I try to watch my language writing on here, but there is no other way to describe it than a complete fuck up from start to finish.

To start with, I had a 14 or so hour bus ride from Hervey Bay, which broke down at 4/5am, and we had to wait a couple of hours for the bus behind us to come and pick us up. I did manage to watch Inception on the bus, which I’ve been meaning to do for a couple of years which I think was one of the highlights of the trip.

I had a day in Airlie Beach to waste, then the next day I had to check in at the Ozsail office to get information for the trip. I saw a couple of people there who were at Fraser Island so we spent the morning together.

The first day on the boat wasn’t too bad, it rained a bit but the crew and other people were a good crowd. The next day, however, I woke up to the boat being thrown around. I was going to get changed then get onto the deck, though it took me a couple of seconds to realise that I had to get onto the deck asap, otherwise I’d be redecorating the boat.

The sea was rough and it was absolutely pissing it down so I got soaked. I witnessed a member of staff fall over and nearly fall off the edge. We were going to go to Whitehaven Beach, but it was not really do-able due to the weather.

We decided that we were better off doing one night instead of two, so a couple of snorkel stops were scheduled. As I’m not a strong swimmer, I had been assured that there would be a floatation device so that I wouldn’t drown, which was engraved with “warning: this is a toy,” which, obviously was incredibly reassuring.

I saw some of the reef which was cool and a turtle, but it wasnt really a prime spot to see it, so after 20 minutes having my life depend on a child’s swimming pool toy, we got back onto the boat and went back to the land.

The next day, I checked out of my hostel then got a phonecall from the bus company telling me that all the buses were cancelled for the next couple of days as the roads were flooded. It wasn’t all bad; I went to a better hostel then ended up having a room trip to domino’s then we went on a night out. I have never been on a night out in flip flops, but this was a first.

I don’t think I need to summarise what I think from this part of the trip. Anyone who’s Facebook friends with me would have seen my Karl Pilkington – inspired “it’s not the great barrier reef, it’s the alright barrier reef” post, which more or less sums it up. I’m hoping to come back whilst there is better weather for a daytrip, rather than an overnight one and snorkel properly at some point between now and when I travel to Melbourne.